newlywed advice.

2010 has been a big year for us. Our first "whole" year married. Looking back and talking, we have pointed out a few realizations or ideas that have changed the way we look at our marriage. They have helped us through the tough times. So we wanted to share our "1 year wisdom" with others, especially those future newlyweds!

Here it is:

1. Show love in their language. We already knew that love is a choice, not just that mushy gushy feeling that's there when you first start dating. But what really taught us how to show that love is the book The 5 Love Languages. (You can buy it here or check it out and take fun assessments here). Once Jordan realized that I was a "words of affirmation" kind of girl, he knew why my feelings would get hurt every time I asked "How do I look?" and he didn't say "WOW! Absolutely amazing!" every time. I found out that Jordan is more of an "Acts of Service" guy; he loves when I clean up after him or bake him cookies. Everyone has a different love language... learn your (future) husband or wife's now so you can begin to speak to them in a way that's special to them! That's what showing love is all about! :)

2. Learn. You are going to learn new things about yourself and your (future) husband or wife! It doesn't matter how long you've been together, 10 months or 10 years, there are things you can only learn once you live together. Just one example... I'm messier than I thought and Jordan is the Danny Tanner of the family. The messy thing isn't something I'm proud of, nor something I want to admit to, but it's true! Learning is a lifelong process. Just be prepared and don't think you know everything there is to know!

3. It's not about you! God doesn't put two people together just to have a fairy tale ending. In fact, it isn't about us at all. It's all about Him. Marriages are meant to be strong and used to further the Kingdom of God. They are sacred and special, and the enemy will do every thing in his power to destroy them. Marriages need to be prayed for and worked on every day. So start now. Pray together, and fight the good fight, together!

These are just a few things that have inspired us to become better husband and wife. Hope this blesses someone who might need it! :)